Tuesday, May 31, 2011

May 31 - International Fight Imaginary Diseases Day

You always hear about fights against "popular" diseases, like AIDS, Breast Cancer and Munchausen by Proxy, and with good reason. (Well, maybe that last one doesn't need a bunch of attention, but you get the point.)

But what about imaginary diseases? Who's out there fighting the good fight against Motile Snarcoma? Who's rasing public awareness against Third Eye Infection and who is sponsoring a telethon to once and for all wipe out Inverted Drowning Syndrome?

You, that's who.

You can find out more about Imaginary Diseases that could be threatening your loved ones by ordering the exciting new volume "The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide to Eccentric and Discredited Diseases." (I swear that's an actual book. Click on the link and see.)
At work you could make colorful flyers and put them up around the office. (After all, it's not like you can do actual work when all those diseases are out there, ready to strike.) Perhaps you can tell your co-workers gross-out stories about friends who survived the diseases; and those who did not.
And if you're really enterprising, you can even raise money for a "Fun Run," to, say, fight Diseasemakers Croup. (The disease where you continually make up imaginary diseases. It's in the book.)
Good luck on your fight to raise awareness--and cash--and remember:
If you can touch but one life (or wallet), you'll have made a difference.


Hyperion said...

Personally I hope to fight SOCSM: Sudden Onset Clitoral Suffocation Malady. A truly horrible disease, where without warning a woman can find her private areas suffocating, which could lead to permament loss of function.

The Best way to fight SOCSM is to immediately rip a woman's pants and panties off and help get as much air as possible to the afflicted area. CPR may be necessary.

jadriana said...

*gasp* .....can't...breathe... *gasp*
(waiting for some hero to save the day......)