Friday, July 05, 2013

July 5 - International Don't Drink Pee Day

That's right, you heard me. DON'T DRINK PEE.

You would think that this would be a no brainer; that, of course, we don't drink the pee!

And yet, some people DO drink pee, because they believe that it has miraculous healing powers. They argue that everything the body makes is sterile, and that ancient, unspecified cultures drank pee.

To which I reply: I LAUGH IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION! Dude, that is so gross! Sterile or no, there is not a single argument you could produce that would get me to drink pee, mine or someone else's, although drinking your own pee is marginally less fantastically disgusting than drinking someone else's.

But I digress.

DON'T DRINK THE PEE! I have to go wash my hands now.

Thursday, July 04, 2013

July 4 - International Take A Penny, Leave A Penny Day

In North America there are probably ten million stores with these little courtesy trays, and if each has a dime's worth of pennies in them, that's a million dollars in free money set out for our convenience every day. And everyone has had their purchases rung up to the tune of $12.95, or $5.46 and dipped into the tray rather than get all that dumb change to haul around, right?

Today we balance that karmic debt in one bold stroke. Take a moment to round up all the household stray pennies you never find cost-effective to collect (between seat cushions on couches and chairs are best, also they seem to like to congregate around the washer and dryer). And in every store you enter today, look for the tray and drop a few pennies back into public circulation. You may jinlge all morning, but your shakras will thank you for it.

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

July 3 - International Um... Ya Know Day

Well.... um... ya know, it's that, um... day, ya know to um, just speak, ya know- normal.

Happy International Um... Ya Know Day!
The day it is ok to put "um" or "ya know" in place of a natural pause.

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

July 2 - International Blogocile Day

This, simply put, is the one day when you can let the world know just how little you know about blogging. Like, say, certain bloggers (huh? who? me?) who can take the simple exercise of creating an International Day and turning it into stinkin' rocket science? Like a blogger that cannot seem to follow a link to this site. Or a blogger that finds it suddenly difficult to understand the e-mails that, while simply stated and quite easy for most to read, become a senseless jumble of words. Like a blogger that tries to sign in to a blog that said blogger was very flattered to have been invited to join, only to spend most of the time annoying those very folks that issued the inept blogger the invite.

And, in other cases, like the blogger that has a hard time figuring out things such as code, links, and RSS feeds.


I am a blogging imbecile. A blogocile, if you will. And I am an insult to the blogging community. Hug me.

Monday, July 01, 2013

July 1 - International Say it, don't spray it day

C'mon people speak clearly and don't spit when you talk. Is that too much to ask?

And if you're on the receiving end don't just ignore it but let them know- Say it, don't spray it.