July 12 - International Punch a Cyborg Day

If there is any one thing I hate, it's those little Bluetooth cellphone headsets that people wear.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate everyone who wears them. I realize that it's a necessary piece of equipment when you are a businessperson and you may be talking on it all day long.

But, I beg of you, please do not keep it in your ear when it is not in use. If you are not, at this very moment, talking into the damn thing... take it out of your ear until such time arises that you need it. Otherwise, you risk being part of today's celebration.

That's right, people! It's time to teach these pseudo-cyborgs a lesson, Wolvie-Berserker style!

Yeah! Find a person who has one of these things in their ear and is not using it and rip it out of their ear and smash it on the ground and, when they ask you why you did that, pummel them.

Photographs linked in the comments are worth extra points!

(Note: the management here at International _____ Day does not condone violence. We recognize that kapgar is just in a really pissy mood this week and this was the first thing he could think of when he realized his deadline was fast approaching. We promise... he WILL be in a better mood for his next day on the 22nd, so help us.)

July 11 - International Say it, don't spray it day

C'mon people speak clearly and don't spit when you talk. Is that too much to ask?

And if you're on the receiving end don't just ignore it but let them know- Say it, don't spray it.

July 10 - International Take A Penny, Leave A Penny Day

In North America there are probably ten million stores with these little courtesy trays, and if each has a dime's worth of pennies in them, that's a million dollars in free money set out for our convenience every day. And everyone has had their purchases rung up to the tune of $12.95, or $5.46 and dipped into the tray rather than get all that dumb change to haul around, right?

Today we balance that karmic debt in one bold stroke. Take a moment to round up all the household stray pennies you never find cost-effective to collect (between seat cushions on couches and chairs are best, also they seem to like to congregate around the washer and dryer). And in every store you enter today, look for the tray and drop a few pennies back into public circulation. You may jinlge all morning, but your shakras will thank you for it.

July 9 - International Cliché Day

We all are painfully aware of Clichés. Why, I typed in the word "DAY" to this Cliché finder, and these are just some of what it came up with.


save for a rainy day, salad days, red-letter day, plain as day, nine-day wonder, month of Sundays, Monday-morning quarterback, honest as the day is long, here today and gone tomorrow, have a field day, first saw the light of day, his days are numbered, I wasn't born yesterday, all in a day's work, houseguests and fish stink after three days, wound up tighter than an eight day clock, two days older than dirt, today is the first day of the rest of your life, midnight is where the day begins, tomorrow is another day, one day I will wake up, and it will all fit together, give a man a fish, feed him for a day, teach a man to fish, feed him for life, eight days a week, an apple a day keeps the doctor away, a day late and a dollar short, make my day! every dog has his day, at the end of the day, Dog day afternoon, if you expect to soar with the eagles during the day, you can't hoot with the owls at night, day in and day out, today is the first day of the rest of your life, if ifs and buts where candy and nuts, every day would be Christmas, in a week or ten days, hair today - gone tomarrow, don't give up your day job, Make My Day! in this day and age, mama said there would be days like this, counting the days, Rome wasn't built in a day, Even a broken watch is correct twice a day. bad hair day, Another day, another dollar! That will be the day when I die, the good old days

Clichés are often used because people are too lazy to aptly describe what's going on. Or they are too lazy to come up with anything else. We are not like that, are we?

But every once in a while it wouldn't be so bad to revel in Clichés, would it? And since there's no time like the present, I declare July 9 to be International Cliché Day. All day long annoy everyone around you by speaking in nothing but Clichés. It'll be fun! You can give out Clichés 'til the cows come home, while eventually the chickens will come home to roost, when the cat's away the mice will play!

In the Comments tell the best Cliché you used today, or your favorite and least favorite Cliché ever. Or, tell about the Cliché that some relative always uses. (Sadly, half the ones above I've heard more than once growing up.)

Enjoy, for these are the (International) Days of our Lives.

{The picture is legitimate, as it is a picture of Karen Cliche. Respect the loophole!}

July 8 - International Michael Corleone day

Today is the day for all you underappreciated, overlooked youngest siblings to take charge of The Family. No worries of high strung older siblings, anal retentive "adopted" brothers or anxiously paranoid sisters. Indeed, today you will show your mortal enemies that their afternoon nap will involve some of the nice local aquatic life. You go for it, youngest sibling!

July 7 - International Um... Ya Know Day

Well.... um... ya know, it's that, um... day, ya know to um, just speak, ya know- normal.

Happy International Um... Ya Know Day!
The day it is ok to put "um" or "ya know" in place of a natural pause.

July 6 - International Blogocile Day

This, simply put, is the one day when you can let the world know just how little you know about blogging. Like, say, certain bloggers (huh? who? me?) who can take the simple exercise of creating an International Day and turning it into stinkin' rocket science? Like a blogger that cannot seem to follow a link to this site. Or a blogger that finds it suddenly difficult to understand the e-mails that, while simply stated and quite easy for most to read, become a senseless jumble of words. Like a blogger that tries to sign in to a blog that said blogger was very flattered to have been invited to join, only to spend most of the time annoying those very folks that issued the inept blogger the invite.

And, in other cases, like the blogger that has a hard time figuring out things such as code, links, and RSS feeds.

Blink.

I am a blogging imbecile. A blogocile, if you will. And I am an insult to the blogging community. Hug me.

July 5 - International Don't Drink Pee Day

That's right, you heard me. DON'T DRINK PEE.

You would think that this would be a no brainer; that, of course, we don't drink the pee!

And yet, some people DO drink pee, because they believe that it has miraculous healing powers. They argue that everything the body makes is sterile, and that ancient, unspecified cultures drank pee.

To which I reply: I LAUGH IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION! Dude, that is so gross! Sterile or no, there is not a single argument you could produce that would get me to drink pee, mine or someone else's, although drinking your own pee is marginally less fantastically disgusting than drinking someone else's.

But I digress.

DON'T DRINK THE PEE! I have to go wash my hands now.

July 4 - International DUDE Day

Dude! It's Dude Day! Dude.

Dude, just say Dude at the end of every sentence, ok, dude? Got it dude? DUDE!

I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

July 3 - International Razor Burn Day

So that your legs don't catch fire when the bottle rockets skitter across the front yard, and so that your chin doesn't go up in a burst of smoke when you lean in too close to the bar-e-cue when you check to see if the briquettes are going good enough to throw the side of ox on the flames, and so that the kids don't go "ew" when you reach out to spike that volleyball into your nosey neighbor's face at the annual block party/team competition fest tomorrow, go get yourself a shave with a dull razor and celebrate International Razor Burn Day!

Feels GOOD to rub SPF40 into raw skin, right?

Feels GOOD to itch in unmentionable places, right?

Feels GOOD to have stubble bumps on the hottest fricking day of the year, RIGHT?

Join up, and celebrate good times. Come on.

July 2 - International Eat Something New Day

Chris Knight: Here Mitch, taste this. Too sweet?
Mitch Taylor: No... what is it?
Chris Knight: I don't know, I found it in one of the labs.
Mitch Taylor: Blech! Gah!
Chris Knight: I'm just kidding. It's only yogurt.

--Real Genius (1984)

Okay, so yogurt isn't exactly exotic by any stretch of the imagination. But, then again, many people will not allow themselves the opportunity to try new things. People have their favorite meals and snacks and, very often, they never deviate.

The purpose of International Eat Something New Day is to help all of you culinary stalwarts break out of your shell.

If there is something on a menu in a favorite restaurant that you've been afraid to try... TRY IT!


If you've found a restaurant in your area that has intrigued you but you've never "had the time" to eat at... BOOK YOUR RESERVATION NOW!

If you tore a recipe out of a magazine but have yet to actually pick up the ingredients and cook it... GET TO YOUR LOCAL GROCER!

I'm not talking about setting yourself with a platter of food that would make the former producers of Fear Factor cringe, just a minor deviation from your normal internal menu. Who knows, at best, you may find a new favorite dish... at worst, well, I'm not gonna touch that one.

July 1 - International Pizza Day

I know we don't need a special day to eat pizza, but please overindulge today.

June 30 - International Half Year's Eve Day

Today marks the end of the first six month of the year. And you know what? Not nearly enough is done to celebrate. Yes, we still have the dog days of summer left, but that's no reason we can't party like it's 1999 (and an half).

So tonight get out there and celebrate. Tie one one (or two or three), find sing Auld Lang Syne, and no matter what; find that lucky lady to kiss when the clock turns 12.

Make sure you leave a comment on what you did to make this Half Year's Eve a total success!

June 29 - International Pirates for Picard Day

Attention Trekkies:
You know you have a favorite. Here is your chance to let it be known! It's a battle worthy of intergalatic proportions!
We can savagely argue over the uncouth and studly Kirk or the refined and handsome Picard. My bet is that the Picard camp will win. But that's because pirates like Picard!