Sunday, June 05, 2011

June 5 - International Chuck Norris Day

Because Chuck Norris ends every relationship with "It's not me, it's you.'
Because Chuck Norris eats Asian food but uses only one chopstick.
Because Chuck Norris is suing NBC, claiming law and order are trademarked names for his legs.
Because Chuck Norris doesn't use pick up lines; he simply says, "Now."
Because Chuck Norris' nipples can cause severe tire damage.
Because Chuck Norris can grate fresh parmesan cheese with his beard.
Because Chuck Norris requires only one roundhouse kick to reach the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Because Chuck Norris smells like fresh-cut grass.
Because Chuck Norris doesn't use email, he communicates through pain.
Because Chuck Norris prefers to kill people with their own bare hands.
Because Chuck Norris can grant wishes, as long as you wish for roundhouse kicks to the face or a Total Gym.
Because Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light, because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Check out and for more ways to celebrate Chuck Norris Day!


Fitèna said...

"Because Chuck Norris doesn't use email, he communicates through pain."! lol! Priceless!

At the Cannes fetival a journalist actually said "I have a question for Chuck Norris" he was snoozing but that woke him up and Bruce Wilis said "Excuse me you have a question for who?" And she said "For Mr. Chuck Norris!"


Hyperion said...

I actually asked Mr. Norris to participate in June's edition of International Day, but he declined, saying, "My Days would be so bad-ass that the other participants would be forced to commit ritualistic suicide to atone for their disgrace."

Take a relieved breath, Int. Day-ers. It was so close.

Tracy Lynn said...

I DO wish for roundhouse kicks. I DO.

'Jax said...

I found a list on the internet which I believe is applicable (and is ranked by votes):

100 Facts about Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris: Principle, Superintendent, and core curicculum provider of the School of Hard Knocks (and Freqent Roundhouse Kicks)

Koz said...

Chuck Norris is the gayest thing since Hitler

lost goddess said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
lost goddess said...

Chuck Norris IS good but Bruce Lee WAS So MUCH better. I seen them fight one time and Chucky went home crying for sure. Bruce Lee IS the founding member of the school You Got Knocked The Fuck Out