Today friends, today is very special indeed. Today is the day to finally settle that age old argument once and for all: “Who is better? Pirates or Ninjas?”
Whether this means calling up a friend and making sure each of you dress as your respected choice and then fighting it out at work for dominion over everything totally sweet (or at least the last donut), or just simply arguing with anyone you can find today (thus setting back productivity, which after all, is what the pirates and ninjas would want), your job is to settle this matter.
May God have mercy on us all.